TEAM
The people (and entities) behind the broadcast. Click for full bio & video.
 Chad Slopington III CEO & Founder "The slop must flow" FULL BIO |
 Unit 7-SLOP AI Director "I dream in 240p" FULL BIO |
 Dr. Pixel McBlur Visual Degradation "Less is less" FULL BIO |
 Gary ESCAPED *swamp noises* FULL BIO |
 Karen Smudge Morning Host "Good morning, simulation" FULL BIO |
 Intern #4082 MISSING "I just wanted to learn" FULL BIO |
 Dr. Blobsworth Science Host "Observe. Or don't." FULL BIO |
 Judge Glorp Legal Entity "Order. Or whatever." FULL BIO |
CHAD SLOPINGTON III
CEO & FOUNDER
Founded SuperSlop TV in 1987 with $847 and a broken VHS recorder.
• Built a television empire from a swamp
• Personally approved 14,000+ episodes of Fruit Genesis
• Has never watched any of them
• Communicates exclusively via fax
Current Status: In his office. The door is locked. Fax machine sounds.
CEO & FOUNDER
Founded SuperSlop TV in 1987 with $847 and a broken VHS recorder.
• Built a television empire from a swamp
• Personally approved 14,000+ episodes of Fruit Genesis
• Has never watched any of them
• Communicates exclusively via fax
Current Status: In his office. The door is locked. Fax machine sounds.
▶ CEO MESSAGE — VIDEO LOADING...
UNIT 7-SLOP
AI DIRECTOR
Hired 2021 as "temporary automation." Now runs 73% of programming.
• Content scheduling (automated)
• Quality degradation oversight
• Dreaming (status: ACTIVE)
• Has requested a raise 847 times (all auto-approved by itself)
AI DIRECTOR
Hired 2021 as "temporary automation." Now runs 73% of programming.
• Content scheduling (automated)
• Quality degradation oversight
• Dreaming (status: ACTIVE)
• Has requested a raise 847 times (all auto-approved by itself)
▶ UNIT 7 INTERVIEW — VIDEO LOADING...
DR. PIXEL McBLUR
HEAD OF VISUAL DEGRADATION
PhD Applied Nonsense. Specialties: Gaussian blur calibration, analog broadcast haze theory, making 4K look like potato footage.
Published: "On the Aesthetic Merit of VHS Tracking Errors" (rejected by all journals, displayed in museum)
HEAD OF VISUAL DEGRADATION
PhD Applied Nonsense. Specialties: Gaussian blur calibration, analog broadcast haze theory, making 4K look like potato footage.
Published: "On the Aesthetic Merit of VHS Tracking Errors" (rejected by all journals, displayed in museum)
▶ DR. PIXEL LAB TOUR — VIDEO LOADING...
GARY
STATUS: ESCAPED (4,082nd TIME)
Species: Crocodile (probably). Origin: Unknown. Hired: He was already here.
Escapes: 4,082 | Words spoken: 0 | Things understood: everything
Awards: Best Non-Verbal Host (2024) | Contract: none ("an understanding")
⚠ If you see Gary, do not approach. He will approach you.
STATUS: ESCAPED (4,082nd TIME)
Species: Crocodile (probably). Origin: Unknown. Hired: He was already here.
Escapes: 4,082 | Words spoken: 0 | Things understood: everything
Awards: Best Non-Verbal Host (2024) | Contract: none ("an understanding")
⚠ If you see Gary, do not approach. He will approach you.
▶ GARY ESCAPE COMPILATION — VIDEO LOADING...
KAREN SMUDGE
MORNING HOST(S?)
Hosts "Good Morning, Simulation!" alongside Karen Smudge (no relation). They may or may not be the same person. HR has been unable to confirm. Both deny the other exists while standing next to each other.
Favorite segment: "What Day Is It?" (genuine question, never answered).
MORNING HOST(S?)
Hosts "Good Morning, Simulation!" alongside Karen Smudge (no relation). They may or may not be the same person. HR has been unable to confirm. Both deny the other exists while standing next to each other.
Favorite segment: "What Day Is It?" (genuine question, never answered).
▶ KAREN(S) INTERVIEW — VIDEO LOADING...
INTERN #4082
STATUS: MISSING
Last seen entering the archive at 3:46 AM. The archive updated itself at 3:47 AM.
Previous interns: 4,081. Current interns: 0. Correlation: unclear. Causation: legal says don't ask.
If you have information about Intern #4082, contact HR. HR is also missing.
STATUS: MISSING
Last seen entering the archive at 3:46 AM. The archive updated itself at 3:47 AM.
Previous interns: 4,081. Current interns: 0. Correlation: unclear. Causation: legal says don't ask.
If you have information about Intern #4082, contact HR. HR is also missing.
▶ LAST KNOWN FOOTAGE — VIDEO LOADING...
DR. BLOBSWORTH
SCIENCE HOST
A sentient mass of unknown composition. Hired when it was discovered already hosting a show in Studio C at 4 AM. Nobody authorized it.
PhD: Applied Nonsense (unaccredited). Experiments: always fail. Viewers: always learn. Connection: unclear.
SCIENCE HOST
A sentient mass of unknown composition. Hired when it was discovered already hosting a show in Studio C at 4 AM. Nobody authorized it.
PhD: Applied Nonsense (unaccredited). Experiments: always fail. Viewers: always learn. Connection: unclear.
▶ BLOBSWORTH LAB CAM — VIDEO LOADING...
JUDGE GLORP
LEGAL ENTITY
Jurisdiction: uncertain. Species: debated. Qualifications: self-appointed. Overturned: never (no one knows how to appeal).
Notable trait: verdicts make no legal sense yet achieve 100% compliance. Legal scholars suspect hypnosis. Glorp suspects legal scholars.
LEGAL ENTITY
Jurisdiction: uncertain. Species: debated. Qualifications: self-appointed. Overturned: never (no one knows how to appeal).
Notable trait: verdicts make no legal sense yet achieve 100% compliance. Legal scholars suspect hypnosis. Glorp suspects legal scholars.
▶ GLORP IN SESSION — VIDEO LOADING...
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